


Is This The End?

by MarbleWolf



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Betrayal, Cancer, Demon Deals, Demons, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Holy Water, Hospitalization, Human Experimentation, Illuminati VS Vatican, M/M, Medical Experimentation, Medical Inaccuracies, Medical Procedures, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Protectiveness, Regeneration, Sacrifice, Sharing a Bed, Sick Rin, Spy Renzo Shima
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:47:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25819072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarbleWolf/pseuds/MarbleWolf
Summary: Rin collapses on the drive back to True Cross after the defeat of the Impure King. The diagnosis isn't good. Rin is running out of time. Yukio intends to save him. Will it be enough? And will Yukio's inner demons allow it?Tags are not complete yet!
Relationships: Kirigakure Shura/Okumura Yukio, Okumura Rin/Suguro "Bon" Ryuuji
Comments: 51
Kudos: 142





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This may be a dark fic. I'm not to sure yet. I've actually had a bit of this written for a while now but never really wanted to share it. After some prompting by some of my fellow writers I figured why not. This is a non-beta'd fic and I have dyslexia so expect errors! XD

Yukio felt he should have noticed something off long ago. He knew Rin slept excessive amounts, and that amount continued to increase. He knew Rin’s appetite came and went. Rin would also have bouts of irritability, over-excitement, or aggression, explained away as ADHD. Rin would complain of aches and pains, but they should be expected from a growing child. He would be lazy and whine about anything homework related. Rin had the worse case of selective hearing Yukio had ever seen. Yukio thought all of this was just Rin being Rin. Yukio hated it. 

Kyoto had made Yukio’s feelings breach the surface and he couldn’t force them back down. Rin was driving Yukio insane. His behavior made Yukio grit his teeth and clench his fists, aching to shake his brother. 

He wouldn’t get that chance for a while. On the drive back to True Cross, Rin crumpled in his seat. Not a moment later, Yukio was cushioning Rin’s head as his brother thrashed on the floor. Rin was rushed to the Exorcist Hospital, where he was snatched away. The cold metal doors separating the brothers. Yukio stood stiffly before the doors, willing them to bring his brother back.

“Come sit down, Yukio.” Shura’s voice was uncharacteristically soft, tugging on his sleeve. 

“No.” Yukio’s voice didn’t tremble. His hands were still. 

“You standing there isn’t going to help him. Besides, you need to calm the others.” She whispered, beckoning to the Exwires sitting in the hard plastic chairs.

Yukio steeled himself, before turning to his students. Shiemi was crying quietly. The other students in varying stages of pale. Ryuuji Suguro had his head in his hands, eyes on the floor. Yukio pretended to not notice the puffy redness around his eyes. 

“You should go back to school and wait there. I don’t know how long we will be here.” Yukio instructed. 

“ I want to stay!” Shiemi immediately chirped.

“Its not like anyone will be able to sleep without hearing something first.” Izumo followed up, her normally expressionless face held a hint of fear. 

“I don’t think you’re getting rid of us yet, teach.” Shima said, glancing at Bon. Bon hadn’t made a sound the whole time. Yukio sighed in defeat and sat down in one of the chairs. The next two hours felt like the longest of his life. No one moved or spoke the entire time. 

Finally, a doctor in a black and white set of Exorcist scrubs entered the waiting room. “Rin Okumura’s family?” 

Yukio stood, his body aching from the hard chair. “I’m his brother.” 

The doctor hesitated. “I’m doctor Hayato. No parent/guardian?” 

“No. Just me.” Dr. Hayato eyed the waiting group. The youthful faces, and school uniforms. 

“I’m not their guardian but I’m a friend.” Shura offered, holding up her ID. 

“Do they not have a guardian?” he asked, worried. 

“Mephisto is their guardian.” It was almost comical, watching the doctor’s eyes widen in horror. Someone snorted behind Yukio, a glance back saw Shima stifling a giggle. 

“Oh. Well. Mr. Okumura, if you consent to Ms. Kirigakure hearing your brother’s condition, I don’t see an issue letting her act as temporary guardian.” Dr. Hayato withdrew a paper, having the two sign off for legality reasons. “Follow me please.” 

Yukio later wished he had stayed ignorant to what hell awaited him.

====================================

Shura and Yukio peered at a lit up screen, Dr. Hayato beckoning at various images. The screens displayed a series of brain images, each searching for something wrong. That something was easy to spot as the scan went deeper with each moment. Yukio hadn’t been studying to be a doctor for too long but he could see just how wrong Rin’s brain looked. The numerous bright spots in the dark matter turned Yukio’s stomach sour. Yukio didn’t need a diagnosis… he knew. Rin has brain tumors, a lot of them. Shura cursed under her breath next to him. He leaned closer, peering at the screens. The tumors were pressing against Rin’s optic nerve, his spine, and many other places. Yukio only partially listened as the doctor chattered about the mess in his brother’s head. He could hear him listing symptoms he was familiar with. Finally it all made sense to Yukio. The mood swings, the difficulties with school, hearing and sight fluctuation, lethargy, it all came down to the masses consuming his brother’s brain. The doctor’s voice almost sounded like it was echoing from the end of a long tunnel. “Grade 4 cancerous tumors. 5% chance of survival.”

He didn’t want to hear more, he turned his back to them and looked over where his brother lay in the machine. Three days ago, Rin had been dragging them through Kyoto Tower, a grin stretched wide on his face. Now Rin was dying. No… it wasn’t a sudden thing. The tumors had begun to grow before Rin even drew his sword. Rin had been dying all along. They should have been slow growing. But with the release of his demon heart, his regenerative ability is working against him now, aiding in the growth of the deadly masses.

Behind him, Yukio could hear the doctor trying to catch his attention. He couldn’t force himself to turn and face this reality. Father Fujimoto always preached about saving Rin. Keep Rin safe. Rin. Always about Rin. Yukio growled low in his throat, his hands beginning to tremble. A voice whispered in his head, it didn’t sound like his own.

In the next room, nurses were pushing Rin’s gurney towards the door. A part of Yukio wanted to go to him, protect him, but Yukio knew it was useless. Rin was dying. The voice started increasing in volume, making his head throb. Yukio’s hands squeezed Rin’s sword, the trembling becoming worse as his mind raced. As the gurney passed, Rin, drugged up and drooling, reached wildly for Yukio. His cold fingers touching the back of Yukio’s hands. Yukio met Rin’s eyes, pupils blown wide and so innocent looking. Shura grabbed his shoulder, her other hand stroking Rin’s hair. Yukio yanked away from her, sprinting down the hall. He ignored Shura's shouts. He had to get his thoughts straight and he couldn’t do that here. Not now. Not with Rin dying and looking up at him like that. The ghost of Rin’s touch lingering on his hands seemed to grow colder with Yukio’s morbid thoughts.  
He shoved past the exit doors, entering the waiting room. The Cram School students were still waiting in the plastic hospital chairs. They jumped as he raced past them. Bon grunted in discomfort as Yukio tossed the Kurikara against his chest. Voices shouted after him but he didn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop till he slowed his thoughts. His thoughts drummed in his head and he couldn’t shake them loose. Were they even his thoughts? 

As he ran, his phone went off continuously, but he ignored it. The chaos in his mind made him want to scream. He needed an outlet. The build up in his chest continued to expand till finally it escaped him. His fist smashed into a crumbling wall, fragile brick shattering under the force. Yukio kept hitting the wall, willing the thoughts in his head to go. But they wouldn’t. He couldn’t get the tiny voice growing louder in his head to stop. Because… he WANTED Rin to die, dammit. Yukio wanted his big brother to die. Yukio wouldn’t lie to himself anymore. A part of him was ready to lose Rin. To be free of the responsibility saddled on his back. To be free of his own death sentence. Because that’s what would ultimately happen to him if he continued on as Shiro Fujimoto wanted him to. He could hear a wailing, deafening in his ears. It was him.

Finally, Yukio turned, breathing in heavens and leaned against the abused bricks, taking in his surroundings for the first time. Dark grey clouds were reflecting the city’s lights, a soft fog beginning to roll between the taller buildings. Yukio tipped his head back against the rough wall, gazing up at the night sky. His thoughts had slowed as exhaustion set in, hot blood snaked down his finger tips, painting his hands a vivid red. The ghost of Rin’s touch being washed away by the heat.

Rin was dying. His days were numbered. Yukio wanted to walk away now. To hold the memory of his brother close and not watch the inevitable happen. But he couldn’t be that selfish. He would do everything in his power to keep Rin safe. He knew this battle would be in vain. But he had to try. Yukio had to follow his father’s orders. Keep Rin safe. And Yukio would till Rin took his last breath. 

Yukio sighed, watching as a soft rain began to weep from the sky. His phone vibrated once again. His hands no longer trembled as he brought the phone to his ear and began the trek back to the hospital. He had a feeling he would be spending a lot of time there in the coming months. 

“Yukio. Why did you run off like that?” Shura demanded through the phone. Yukio sighed, his hand rubbing his tired eyes. 

“I needed to collect my thoughts.” He offered. His voice sounded normal enough. 

“Alright. If you’re ready, you are needed here.” Shura’s voice trembled on the word “needed". 

“I’ll be there shortly.” Yukio continued on his way, that voice chuckling in his head.


	2. Glassy Sky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuuji and the Cram class get to see Rin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> First off... the chapter is NOT updating the way I want it to. 🙄 so sorry about the format. I domt know why it's being weird today. 
> 
> I was supposed to update on Monday but life threw me a curve ball. I had a suprise miscarriage Sunday night (didnt even know I was pregnant) so I have spent the rest of the week with the side effects of blood loss. I'm on the mend now
> 
> This chapter may not be too great as I have been finishing it up this past week.  
> I finished it up tonight and played Tokyo Ghoul's "Glassy Sky" as I wrote the finishing touches so, I'm pretty pleased with that. I'm a sucker for Tokyo Ghoul. If you want a REALLY good manga, I suggest it.

Chapter 2

Ryuuji was tired of seeing Rin in pain. Ever since the fight with Amaimon, the young half-demon had been hurting. Ryuuji knew he was to blame for some of that pain, but the sound of Rin’s screams in the Keep, Rin’s fear and self-loathing, it had all hit him harder than he thought it would. After the defeat of the Impure King, hell… even before then, when the pair rushed up the mountain to save Kyoto, Ryuuji made a promise to himself to help Rin through everything that may come. The half-demon was so selfless, giving and giving, expecting nothing in return, Ryuuji wanted to help him carry that burden. Ryuuji thought, maybe things would start looking up, as Rin lugged the group through Kyoto Tower. The silly picture at the end had made them all smile. Rin’s smile the brightest, eyes alight, soaking up the good-natured teasing. It had been a good day. How he wished it had lasted forever.

A full body shudder ran through him. He could hear the choked panicked sounds Rin had made on the floor of the train in his head. The sound of his body hitting the floor. Yukio had moved with an almost super human speed, cradling Rin’s head in his hands. The watch on Yukio’s wrist counted past the five minute mark and he immediately instructing Shura to call for help. Yukio’s hands trembled but his voice was surprisingly calm as told them it was called, “Status epilepticus”, an endless seizure. The train had stopped at the nearest station and Rin was whisked away, Yukio staying with him.

Shura had taken the rest of them up to the hospital and now they waited. Yukio and Shura had gone back not too long ago. Ryuuji watching the door for anyone to come through. He didn’t expect Yukio to come flying through the doors. The doors banging behind him as he pelted past. Their teacher’s eyes were wild, too bright. Were those tears gathering in his teal eyes? Ryuuji’s breath left him in a grunt as Rin’s sword slammed into his chest. His hands cradled the blue sheath protectively, this was the second time in under a week someone had given him this important part of Rin.

Shiemi was shouting after Yukio, she stood to chase him but was stopped by Shura’s voice. “Let him go. He will be back.” But she sent a worried glance out the door.

“Did something happen to Rin?” Konekomaru’s voice was soft.

Ryuuji almost gave himself whiplash, turning to face Shura. His hands squeezed the sword. What if he’s dead?

“He’s alive.” She said simply. A tense silence fell over them. Ryuuji didn’t feel comforted by that fact when Yukio had looked so devastated.

“What is wrong with him?” Shiemi turned her shining green eyes on Shura. Shura seemed to deflate, the students eyes on her every breath.

“Rin is very sick. That’s all you need to know right now. If Rin or Yukio want to tell you, they can.” Shura, flipped her phone open and attempted to call Yukio.

“Can we see him?” Ryuuji found his voice for the first time since they came to the hospital. Shura huffed at the phone in frustration.

“Yeah. Luckily this is an Exorcist hospital so you can all come see him at once. Not as strict with rules.” Shura shot one last worried look to the exit before leading them through the white halls. That’s where the similarities of a normal hospital ended. The True Cross symbol hung from walls. Several of the walls had weapons, and pointed crosses hanging. High up on the walls, demon wards and prayers were scrawled in black ink. If things hadn’t been so tense, he may have stopped to study the words. As it was, they hurried with a quiet urgency through the halls, passing endless doors. Izumo was pretending to hate the hand holding hers, Shiemi trotting along next to her. Konekomaru’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears, almost pressed against Ryuuji’s side. Shima brought up the rear, fidgeting with his phone, and glancing around. Ryuuji’s hand was in his pocket, his fingers dancing over the prayer beads tucked safely away.

They stopped before a door that looked like any of the others. Shura didn’t hesitate to open the door and peek inside. Her brow crinkled and her hand on the knob, tensed, knuckles whitening. She pushed the door open wider, herding the students in, a finger to her lips.

The room was cool, and dimly lit. The beep of a heart monitor was the only sound. The single bed in the room was occupied by a raven haired figure. His face was covered by a wet washcloth, two bags of fluids ran into an IV in his arm. His body trembled, even with a thick blanket pulled up to his chest. Shura approached the bed, slowly.

“Hey, Rin. Your friends are here.” His head tilted in her direction, his tail slithered out from under the bed covers and wrapped around her waist. Shura glared at the appendage with no real heat, stroking the fluff. Her other hand caressed Rin’s raven locks.

“Okumura.” Ryuuji’s voice was quiet but he still winced at the rumble of his own voice. The others followed his lead, whispering gentle greetings to their quiet friend.

“I need to go.” Shura said moments later. Her hand gripped her phone tighter and Ryuuji understood. She needed to find Yukio. She stepped away from Rin, gently unwrapping Rin’s tail from her. Shiemi took her place at Rin’s head, one hand tracing his hair, the other still clutching Izumo’s hand. Ryuuji stepped around to the other side, seeing Rin’s arm with the IV sticking out. The fingers on his hand were tinted purple/red, his frame shivering from the effects of the liquids dripping into his system. Ryuuji couldn’t even see Rin’s face and he could hardly stand even this. Rin looked so tiny, dwarfed by the bed and equipment around him. Ryuuji’s eyes flickered uneasily to the defibrillator sitting in a glass cabinet. Ryuuji’s hand found itself resting over Rin’s ice cold fingers. Rin’s hand turned, soft fingers with callouses on the palm and fingers gripped Ryuuji like a lifeline.

A chair was pushed against his legs, finally forcing him to look to his classmates. Shima was setting chairs behind everyone, the pink haired boy him a sad smile. Ryuuji’s eyes followed the boy as Shima stepped out of the room, “discreetly” wiping at his eyes. Shiemi was sitting at the head of Rin’s bed. Izumo had Rin’s tail around her arm. Konekomaru stood by the door, biting his lip. He looked from the door, to Rin and back again before he stepped closer and lifted his shirt up. Ryuuji choked on laughter as Kuro appeared from the depths of Konekomaru’s shirt. Soft chuckles filled the air, lifting the tense atmosphere.

Kuro mowed softly and Rin lifted his head weakly. “Kuro?” Rin’s voice was weak and hoarse but hearing his voice lifted Ryuuji’s spirits. The cat demon trotted up to Rin’s chest. Rin’s hands moved, lifting away the cool cloth and petting the cat. The black cat purred in a soothing manner. Ryuuji’s hands felt empty without Rin’s. Eyes, more muted than normal flitted around the room. His chapped lips lifted into a gentle smile. “I’m happy you’re all here.” A sigh passed his lips and his blue eyes closed, too weak to cling to consciousness.

Izumo readjusted the cloth over Rin’s face, the amount of care put into the movement was surprising.

What could cause Rin to be this way? Ryuuji almost didn’t want to know. But he needed to know. And whatever it was… Rin had to pull through.

The door clicked open, Shiemi tried, poorly, to conceal Kuro but it was just Shima. The pink haired boy slinking into the room, his face troubled. He knew something that they didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin shivering and the purple fingers happens to me any time i get any type of fluids. 
> 
> Let me know what you think in the comments! Or if you have anything at all to say. :)


	3. Slow Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin awakens to the devastating news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been giving me a tough time but I think I finally figured out where I'm going with this

Chapter 3- 

Yukio was thoroughly soaked by the time he approached the hospital once again. Shura was waiting for him under the awning, a towel draped over her arm. Upon seeing him, she stepped forward, grasping his hand and tugging him out of the rain. Neither said a word as she toweled off his hair and face.

“How is he?” Yukio’s low voice whispered. 

“They found something else… the tumors are a secondary cancer. It looks like hes got a bad kidney. Rin is comfortable. They have him on painkillers and his friends are with him.” Shura squeezed Yukio’s hands, frowning at the scrapped, bloody skin. “Yukio. Things will be hard in the coming months, but we will be here for you too. I will be here.” 

Yukio wouldn’t meet her eyes. He was sure she would be disgusted with him if she could hear his thoughts. He shook himself and stepped into the hospital, allowing her to lead him through the halls. With a shaky breath, Yukio entered Rin’s room. 

The Cram students looked up as the door opened. Kuro lifting his head from where he lay by Rin’s side. Yukio was glad to see his brother have such a strong support team. 

“Yuki!” Shiemi whispered, she stood and rushed to him. Her small arms wrapping around his stiff frame. 

“How is he?” Yukio’s voice was hoarse as he repeated his earlier question. He freed himself from Shiemi’s clingy arms and read the numerous machines.

“He was awake for a little while. Fell asleep a bit ago.” Ryuuji told Yukio. The boy’s eyes were dark with bruise-like bags. All the students were looking a bit ragged. 

“That’s good. You need to get back to the Academy.” Yukio told his students. 

“But what’s up with Rin?” Shima asked from where he lounged against the wall. 

Yukio wanted to tell them. His more considerate side wanted to tell Rin first. The young half-demon didn’t even know his condition yet. 

“Rin should make the choice to tell you. And we need more information anyway. Shura? Take them back please.” 

The students looked ready to argue, but thought better of it. Then, Yukio was alone with Rin. Yukio sat in the chair Suguro had vacated and stroked Kuro's fur. 

The quiet of the room settled around Yukio. His eyes flickered to the monitors every few seconds. He felt restless, hands jittery. He realized too late he was being left with his thoughts. He didn’t like where they tried to take him.

________________

The first thing he was aware of was the bone deep ache in his entire body. Next came the nausea. His stomach churning and his mouth was excessively wet. He weakly swallowed down the moisture, his eyes fluttering open. It was dark in the room he lay in. His heavy lidded eyes taking in the expanse of white ceiling, recessed lights dim and curtains drawn around a window to his left. His eyes lingered on the various machines hissing and beeping, the pole holding the bags full of liquid. He followed the lines down to his arm to where they capped to an IV catheter and the cool fluids leaking into his body. He then noticed a lump under the covers which he assumed was Kuro curled up by his hip, the cat keeping him warm. 

His hand twitched, wishing to remove the thing pressed to his face. His blinks were longer than normal. But he didn’t want to succumb to his body's needs till he knew where he was. The door a few paces from his bed opened without a sound, the light from the hall the only way he knew it opened. His tired, aching eyes watched as Yukio walked in quietly. To say his brother looked awful would be an understatement. Rin was mildly stunned to see his brother in a doctor’s white coat. Yukio was pale, a cup of coffee in his hand, dark bags under his eyes. His turquoise eyes met Rin’s then, his mouth falling open.

“Rin?” Yukio gasped, rushing forward and setting his coffee down. He eased the oxygen mask off Rin’s mouth and nose, looking to the oxygen monitor. 

“You loo' awful.” Rin croaked, wincing at the soreness in his throat. 

Yukio looked surprised. “Me?” He let out a bitter laugh. “Rin, you should see yourself.” Yukio busied himself with a brown box on the table next to the hospital bed, lifting ice into a small cup. 

“Where ‘m I?” Rin rasped. 

“An Exorcist hospital. You collapsed and seized on the way back to True Cross.” Yukio replied. 

Kuro nudged himself out of the blankets, roused by their voices. “Rin! Rin! You’re sick!” The cat sounded so worried. Yukio held an ice chip to Rin’s lips, the cold water easing his sore throat.

“I’ll be ok, Kuro. Right Yukio? I’ll be up in no time!” Rin looked to Yukio for support. Yukio looked crestfallen. Yukio was peering down at the cup in his hands. Rin squinted in confusion. “Right Yukio?” 

“Rin…” Yukio fiddled with the ice. “ You won't be feeling well for a while. You’re really sick.” 

Rin scoffed and Kuro’s eyes widened. “Yukio, you always overexaggerate things. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” Rin grinned at Kuro, lifting a hand to stroke the cat. Yukio watched Rin’s hand tremble violently before reaching over and guiding Rin's cold hand to Kuro’s head. Rin frowned at his hand, attempting to lift it higher to no avail and his arm began trembling violently. Yukio forced Rin to lay his arm back down. 

“You’re really sick, Rin. It’s… not good.”

Now it was Rin, who wouldn’t meet Yukio’s eyes. He studied his hand, clenching his fingers weakly, Kuro chirped wordlessly. “What’s wrong with me?” 

“You have brain tumors. They are called Metastatic tumors. A secondary cancer to another. Yours being kidney cancer.” Rin’s breath caught in his throat, his stomach twisting. “They are pretty aggressive and the prognosis isn’t good Rin. They are to blame for many of the issues you’ve faced. The learning difficulties, the emotional troubles, the aches in your back and bones. Its spreading fast.” Yukio’s voice was steady even as his hands tightened on the cup. 

“I’m dying.” Rin summed up in a cold voice. 

No! Kuro yowled. The cup in Yukio's hand crunched as he tensed. Ice spilled onto the floor, the sound loud in the near silent room. 

Rin wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and argue against Yukio. But he knew it wouldn’t change what he heard. The world wanted him dead. The Vatican wanted him dead. Even if he wasn’t being eaten alive by cancer, he would still be facing impossible odds of passing the Exorcist Exam in only a few months. He sighed shakily, he relaxed his head back, eyes fluttering shut. 

“I’m dead no matter what I do.” Rin whispered. 

“I’ll be here, Rin.” Yukio rested his hand on Rin’s, not bothering to tell Rin he was wrong. 

Rin let out a shaky laugh. “Are you my doctor?” His weak fingers tugged at the cuff of Yukio’s coat.

Yukio smirked. “They’re letting me help. And if I was the one to put your catheter in?” 

Rin opened his eyes, shooting his little brother a weak glare. “Did you really?” 

“No, your modesty is still safe.” Yukio chuckled before becoming serious once more. “Rest. We will talk more about details and treatment later.” 

Rin fell asleep easily, head dropping, his mouth opening slightly. Yukio lifted the mask back over Rin’s face, then stood to fiddle with the equipment. He checked Rin’s vitals, and fluid bags, cleaned the mess off the floor before finally sitting down to drink his coffee. It was cold before he even got the first drink of it. Yukio turned back to his twin, his mind still going in circles. Rin shifted, whining in discomfort, his brow crinkled. Kuro head bumped Rin’s limp arm, looking sadly at Yukio. Yukio reached out to hold Rin’s hand, the smaller hand gripping his. Under his fingers, he could feel Rin’s pulse, still strong and resilient. Rin’s eyes were hanging partially open in that creepy way of his. 

Yukio's lips twitched upward. Yukio loved Rin. He loved him more than he’d ever admit to anyone out loud. 

“I’ll save you, big brother.” Yukio wasn’t sure what he meant by those words. Perhaps it would be more humane to put Rin out of his misery. Perhaps Yukio will donate anything his brother needs, a kidney, plasma, bone marrow. Yukio continued to question what he wanted to do.


	4. I Am With You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Treatment options are discussed. The Cram class learns of Rin's problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, DISCLAIMER- I do not own Blue Exorcist 
> 
> I did a lot of research for this chapter and trying to stick to being as realistic as possible. I'm no doctor so sorry if I mess up anything!

Chapter 4- 

It was another two days till Rin could stay conscious long enough to listen to the doctor. Most of the big words passed right over his head but Yukio absorbed it all. And apparently Mephisto had come through. Money wasn’t an option and he had insisted that Rin received the best care possible. Who knew the Clown cared so much?   
“Unfortunately, because this is a secondary cancer, it is deemed terminal due to the fact that they are exceptionally hard to treat. We will have to be aggressive in our treatments early on while he is still generally healthy. So we will start with a craniotomy. We need to get out as much of the tumors as possible. From there, we will treat what is left by whatever means necessary. He will also need to undergo treatment for his kidney with may result in removal. The problem is Rin’s regenerative ability. We are not sure if surgical removal will keep the tumors away or if they will just grow back. Even the entirety of the kidney. Your guardian gave his signature for the surgery and we can begin in the morning.” The neurosurgeon was talking in a grandfatherly way, keeping an eye on Rin’s face. Rin was swallowing around an unpleasant urge to expel what little was in his stomach.   
“Alright.” Rin whispered, licking his dry trembling lips.   
“The surgery will be about five hours. And of course, like all operations, has it’s own set of risks which inclu…”   
“Sir.” Rin interrupted him. The doctor nodded to Rin. “How long do I have?”   
The neurosurgeon sighed. “As of this moment, without the surgery and no treatment, I would guess about 3-6 months.”   
Rin choked on a bitter laugh. “Same deadline just about. Some sort of sick joke.”   
The surgeon looked to Yukio for an explanation, but Yukio shook his head. Rin wasn’t wrong about the irony of the time. Right around the time he was to take the Exorcist Exam and face possible execution.  
After the doctor left, Rin looked to Yukio. “Where’s everyone?”   
“We have kept them away until you were feeling up to visitors. They will pester you for an explanation.” Yukio told him.  
“I want to tell them.” Rin’s voice was soft. “Just in case something bad happens.”   
“I’ll call Shura in a little while. But we need to talk about what you want Rin.”   
“What I want?” Rin looked up at Yukio, puzzled.   
“Do you want to fight? Do you want the surgeries, chemo, radiation? Tell me what you want to happen?” Yukio could tell his words were scaring Rin, but he needed to know. It was quiet, Rin’s fingers plucking at his hospital band. Yukio thought Rin would give him the silent treatment and sighed before Rin looked up and met his eyes.   
“I want to be the greatest Paladin.” Rin’s strong tone, the (figurative) fire in his eyes. The stubborn resolve took Yukio’s breath away. Rin didn’t look scared anymore. “I’ll fight. I'll prove everyone wrong. I’ll pass the exam in six months. I’ll live.”   
Yukio was floored by that response for a moment, unable to process it. Then he realized what a Rin thing that was. Of course Rin would fight tooth and nail against all of life’s hurdles.   
“You’ll do whatever it takes?” Yukio clarified.   
Rin nodded, “Hell yeah. I’m not letting anything stop me.”   
Rebellious to the end. Yukio nodded, keeping his face blank. “Very well. We will go with that plan for now.”   
Rin beamed, “Alright. Call the others here. I want to see them.”   


______________________________________________________

The class had entered the hospital room not long after Yukio called Shura. They were understandably anxious to see Rin. The atmosphere was different from the first night. The window was open, allowing a cool breeze and sunlight to invade the hospital room. Rin was sitting up with Kuro in his lap, his hospital gown was bunched around his waist. Electrodes ran from his chest, sending his heartbeat to resound around the room. The IV drip only had a bag of fluids attached to it, keeping him hydrated. When he saw them, he beamed, his eyes looking pained but bright.   
“Sup guys!” Rin chirped, raising his hand toward them as they hesitated in the entryway.  
Shura herded the teens in and shut the door with a gentle click. “Hey, kid. How are you doing?”   
Rin kept his bright smile in place as he leaned back against the pillows, trying to hide his exhaustion. “I’ve been better.”   
Shura grimaced, and Rin turned his attention to his friends. They all looked tired. Shiemi went to him for a careful hug and he beckoned the others to sit in the chairs Yukio had set out. “Have you guys not been sleeping?”   
“How could we? You looked horrible.” Bon was the first to speak, the aria shifting uncomfortably.   
“We thought you were dying on us, Okumura.” Shima’s words made Rin’s heart ache.   
“About that…” Rin began. He looked over to Yukio for support. Yukio nodded encouragingly, the exchange not going unnoticed by the students. “I’ve got brain tumors and kidney cancer.”   
The room was deathly silent, the heart monitor began to speed up. Shiemi crumpled, her hands over her mouth. Konekomaru choked out a sob. Shima was stiff in his seat. Izumo was looking at the floor, avoiding eye contact. Bon had his head in his hands, his wide shoulders trembling.   
“Hey, no. Don’t be like this.” Rin begged, panicked eyes peering at each of them. “I’ll be ok. I will just need to take it easy for a bit!”   
“You could die!” Shiemi cried out.   
“And I could die in six months if I don’t pass the exam.” Rin told her. “I don’t plan on dying. I still need to defeat Satan.”   
That made Ryuuji lift his head, Rin’s breath caught in his throat at the sheer defeat in his wet eyes. “You better not die on m… us.”   
“I don’t plan on it. So wipe up those tears, Princess.” Rin teased.   
Ryuuji’s face took an interesting transformation, changing from grief to rage. “Don’t call me princess, ya monkey!”   
Shima snorted, scratching at his bright hair. Konekomaru was wiping at his face desperately trying to stop the tears.   
“Nothing has changed. I still want to become an exorcist. I still need to pass the exam.”   
“I’ll help you study.” Ryuuji told him.   
“We all can help, Rin!” Shiemi chirped.   
“I’ll do whatever I can!” Konekomaru said, the small boy leaning to take Rin’s hand.   
Rin looked to each of them, feeling his heart swell. He squeezed the hand in his. Izumo was trying to discreetly wipe away the moisture from her eyes. Shima was still stiff, biting his lip. Rin reached out, tugging Shiemi closer to him. “Everyone needs a hug now.”   
With much grumbling and some blushing, everyone managed to clamber into a circle around Rin.   
“I love the dress, Okumura.” Shima giggled. A shrill screech filled the room as someone disrupted the heart monitor.   
“You just killed me.” Rin whined, as Yukio hurried over and fixed the electrode.   
“Shima, get your hand off my butt before you find a foot up your ass.” Izumo snarled.   
“Its not me!” Shima wailed.   
Konekomaru turned an even darker shade if red. “Sorry, Kamiki…”   
Laughter filled the room and more teasing remarks left everyone in a rather good mood. It wasn’t more than five minutes later when Rin dropped off to sleep, his head resting against Ryuuji’s broad chest. The room quieted immediately, everyone careful to not disturb the sick boy. They all sat quietly, soft chatter and the purring from Kuro keeping Rin in a relaxed sleep. Shura leaned over to Yukio, showing him the series of pictures she had gotten during the mandatory hug. He smiled and took a shaky breath excusing himself as he stood and left the room.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AO3 has been giving me issues lately.


	5. Strength And Weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin has his surgery. Izumo, Koneko, Ryuuji and Yukio have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *MAJOR EDITS MADE. Thank you to LadySelenay for helping me expand on this more. And thank you TongueTiedRaven for always encouraging me.
> 
> This was a good chapter to write. It blew up. And I discovered a whole bunch of cool stuff for the rest of the fic! I'm so excited to get there!

Yukio settled himself in the waiting room, his heel tapping the floor as he stared at the slowly brightening sky outside. They had just taken Rin back for surgery, and Yukio knew he was in for a long wait, but he couldn’t help the anxiety flaring inside him every time he glanced at the clock. Five hours. The surgery was five hours. He had a lot of time before anything was going to get around to happening. 

But what if something happened? If Rin started reacting badly to the medications? Yukio glanced at the doors. Surely they’d say something… But that was a lie. They almost never did, moving instead to just work their hardest to fix it. 

Yukio turned to stare out at the scenery there, the buildings of lower True Cross Town district were slightly hazy in the distance, but Yukio thought he could  _ just _ make out the rooftop of their old school. His heel kept tapping at the hard floor, the bright lights were harsh, but the morning sun beginning to rise was burning.

Five hours rolled around agonizingly, and Yukio stood up to get a glass of water. The woman smiled at him, and he scanned the nearby wall at the items listed in the small cafe just outside the waiting room. He had skipped breakfast, not wanting to eat in front of Rin since he’d be having surgery, and had told himself he’d just eat while his brother was in surgery. Somehow the time had drifted past him, and he couldn’t feel anything. He just… didn’t feel hungry. 

Yukio took a deep breath, and drank some water. His cram students showed up, he heard their unpatterned footsteps in the hall as they stepped off the elevator. Their voices were muted and somber, whispering as they walked in. Yukio glanced at the clock and felt his stomach drop out from under him. Rin was late! 

It was already an hour past the time they had estimated that they would be finished with surgery. Yukio jerked his head toward the doors Rin had disappeared behind. What had happened? Where was he? 

Shima sauntered over, his voice low and his eyes serious for once. Yukio blinked at that, wondering when that change had come over him. “Hey, teach. Is Rin out yet?”

Yukio swallowed as he glanced back at the doors anxiously. “No, he’s not. I haven’t heard anything either.”

Shima grimaced, “Well,” he looked back toward the doors Yukio was watching. “No news is sometimes good news, right?”

“Sometimes.” Yukio felt anxiety crawl up his stomach and attack his spine and he sat rigidly in his chair he had claimed.

Ryuuji and the others sat down closeby. Ryuuji took his other side, sitting next to him. Yukio glanced at Ryuuji’s knee so close to his, and he looked away again. His heel tapped at the tile. Ryuuji tilted at the sound, and Yukio stopped, stilling his movements. Glancing up at him, Yukio felt a small stirring of surprise to see Ryuuji focused hard on the clock, his gaze trailing toward the doors as well. 

Tension sat high on Ryuuji’s shoulders, and Yukio peered at him. He hadn't realized he was staring, so when Ryuuji turned his face to look at him, Yukio twitched and looked away. He hadn’t realized Ryuuji had any real vested interest. It took him by surprise. It was like… Ryuuji cared. He actually cared. Ryuuji was tracing his fingers over the worn beads he was holding, his lips softly mouthing the words to the prayers inscribed on his soul. 

But why?

Yukio’s gaze kept drifting to the way Ryuuji’s hands moved. It was hypnotic. There was a grace to the movements, and it was.. Admirable, how the Aria could focus so sharply on something and keep his movements so precise. It wasn’t the first time he had witnessed it either. The entire school year Ryuuji had always been a driven and passionate student. His own scores were just below Yukio’s own test scores. In most classes they were literally tied.

Yukio looked over at the window, seeing traffic build up on the freeway. The sun was shining even brighter, and the clouds that had been there that morning had drifted away sometime between morning and the early afternoon. Yukio checked his watch again. He had stared with stunned horror when Mephisto had walked in, his expression had little trace of his usual joviality and frivolous demeanor. The Preceptor had walked straight toward the desk, and bent low to whisper softly with the woman working the front desk.

Her expression cleared and became quite still as she whispered up at him, her eyes glancing back at Yukio sitting there rigidly as he watched them, his hands curling to fists on his lap. Just  _ what _ was going on? Mephisto turned away after a moment with a tip of his hat and came to sit beside the other Cram students. Renzou cringed as he leaned away subtly and Mephisto pretended not to notice the other’s discomfort. His eye when he glanced down at the pink-haired teen was sharp.

It had been eight hours since they had taken Rin back, with still no update. Yukio had finally cracked, pacing the nearly empty waiting room. He had just gotten off the phone with the men from the Monastery. They had expected Rin to be out of surgery and into recovery but Yukio was forced to voice that… Rin wasn't out yet. Shiemi had nodded off with her head on Konekomaru's shoulder. The rest of the class and Mephisto were still seated but Yukio could see the tension building. Ryuuji had been unintentionally gritting his teeth. The sound had grated on Yukio's frayed nerves. He had fled his seat, unable to take another second of the noise. 

The sun had passed its highest part of the day and was beginning its descent towards the horizon line. It had been nine hours since Rin had been taken from him. Yukio's mind was a whirlwind, unable to settle from the maelstrom of dark thoughts. He was itching to go to the front desk and demand answers. 

Mephisto was the only one who seemed to read his thoughts. With a soft pop, a warm cup of tea appeared in the air before him, the sweet scent of chamomile carried by the steam. "Drink. It should ease the nerves." 

Finally, after nearly ten grueling hours the Neurosurgeon overseeing Rin’s surgery stepped through the doors. Yukio's heart lurched painfully in his chest and he was vaguely aware of a tingling in his legs from his pacing. The surgeon came over to the group of teenagers and the only adult was a demon. The man looked exhausted, bags under his eyes and his hair a ruffled mess. 

“That was the most difficult surgery I’ve ever overseen in my thirty years as a surgeon. He made it out of surgery. He was stable the entire time. Five brain tumors were successfully removed. His right kidney was also completely removed.” The surgeon paused, licking his lips as he scanned the room. “There are eight more brain tumors that are too deep or in a delicate place in his brain. We couldn’t get any of them out right now.” He shook his head, his lips pressing together briefly before he continued. “We had to use blessed tools and even that almost wasn’t enough. Even shaving his head to get into his skull was a fight; his hair kept growing back, you see? By the time we completed both operations, his kidney grew back and all his incisions closed, his skull fully fused back together.” 

“That is impressive.” Mephisto commented, his eyebrows raised. “Strong regenerative ability.”

“It really is. But it also makes things more urgent. With how fast his cells multiply the danger of the cancers spreading is  _ very _ high. In fact, I’m sure it’s already taking hold elsewhere in his body. The kidney he regrew doesn’t have tumors on it that we can see. But we will have to be fast and tough with treatment.” The surgeon warned Yukio.

Yukio nodded, his hands clenching. 

“What do you suggest now?” Mephisto actually appeared to be worried.

“We will be as aggressive as his demonic cells. We hit it with everything we got. Strongest dose of chemotherapy we have. We will keep doing tests every other day to check for other cancer cells in his body. If chemo doesn’t work, radiation. We keep doing surgeries to remove anything we safely can.” 

The doctor beckoned towards the doors. 

“You are welcome to go see him. He is in his normal room. He didn’t even need the recovery room.” 

Yukio rushed to Rin’s room, eager to ease the anxiety threatening to close his lungs. He could hear the others behind him, as he found the right room and stepped inside. Rin was awake, his eyes meeting Yukio’s. 

“Well that sucked." Rin announced as they came in, his hospital gown was clean and pure white, his skin pale but not sickly. Rin grinned, fangs gleaming in the sunlight coming through from the open window. Rin’s eyes drank them all in, his eyes stopping on… Suguro? Yukio withheld the urge to step between the two. 

“How are you feeling?” Yukio asked, drawing his brother’s attention once more.

“I have a headache but I’m feeling pretty good.” 

“You are certainly not making things easy, little brother.” Mephisto seemed morbidly cheerful as he sauntered into the room. 

“I can’t help it. But I’m glad I don’t have to deal with itchy stitches.” Rin replied. 

“The doctor is worried.” Yukio informed Rin. 

“He said I could go home for today, if Mephisto would get us a key to the emergency ward here.” 

“I can arrange that.” Mephisto agreed. 

* * *

  
  


Several hours, strict instructions, and a change of clothes later, Rin was finally able to step out of the room without a wheelchair. The first time Rin had been aware enough, he had enjoyed the experience. 

Maybe Yukio would let them get one to play with? 

But after the first time, he wanted to stretch his legs and walk without someone hovering. That was easier said than done as his entire freaking Cram class hovered at varying distances from him. 

Yukio was the only one giving him space. Rin wasn’t sure if he should be worried about that or not. Yukio was also carrying medical equipment loaned to them by the hospital.

Shiemi was on one side, Ryuuji on the other. Kuro was perched on Ryuuji's broad set shoulders, his purr audible and soothing. Konekomaru and Izumo walked behind Rin, Izumo attempting to appear distant and uncaring. Rin had seen how well she had done in Kyoto with the sick and wounded. She would make a fantastic doctor if she tried for it. 

Shima was trailing furthest back. He hadn’t said much to Rin since he revealed his condition. He always had a troubled, constipated look when new information about Rin’s cancer came up. Rin turned his head to peer back at the pink haired boy, worried for him.

His foot bumped over the different flooring as they stepped into the twins' bedroom and Rin found himself tipping forward. Four sets of hands grabbed him, keeping him up. 

“Be careful, dumbass!”

“Rin!”

“Are you ok?” 

“Watch where you’re going!” 

“Rin!” Yukio’s tone was rough and scolding. 

“Sorry!” Rin hissed, batting away the numerous hands holding him up. “I was distracted.” 

“Be more careful.” Ryuuji chastised him, his warm eyes worried. Rin scoffed, blushing and continued walking. 

Finally his own bed was in sight. He longed to go lay down but he didn’t want them to think he wasn’t ready to be out of the hospital yet. He sat in his desk chair and turned to watch them pile into the dorm room. Ryuuji planted himself right besides Rin’s chair. The others spread out to sit on Rin and Yukio’s beds.

Yukio busied himself with setting up the equipment. An IV pole was set next to his bed, sterile packages of hoses and needles packed away in drawers. Yukio’s personal doctor’s bag filled with even more small necessities essential for caring for Rin. Rin reached up to scratch at the IV port in his chest, unhappy with the addition. 

“Leave that alone, Rin!” Yukio snapped. “How many times do I have to tell you!” 

“ It itches!” Rin whined. 

“Make sure he doesn’t mess with it.” Yukio told his students before taking the bags of fluids out of the room. An awkward silence fell, every eye on where Rin’s hand still lingered. 

“Rin…What is that?” Shiemi asked softly. 

“It’s a… central catheter thingy and a port. They will give me medicine through it.” Rin lifted his shirt, unashamed, showing off the small bump in his upper chest. 

“Uhhhhh… ya know. I got a hot date tonight. I need to get going.” Renzo suddenly piped up, sidestepping towards the door. Everyone watched as he shuffled out of the room, exchanging confused glances. 

“Why is he being weird?” Izumo snipped, turning her accusing glare on Ryuuji. 

“I don’t know! Go ask him!” Ryuuji snapped. 

Rin couldn’t hold back his yawn as the familiar bickering actually eased the last of the tension from him. He may be half demon but he had just gotten out of major surgeries and still wasn’t feeling too well. He allowed himself to relax further, eyes closed, leaning against Ryuuji’s hip. A gentle hand settled on to his shoulder and he sighed, slipping into hypnagogia.

“Looks like Rin is asleep now.” Konekomaru whispered. 

“I should be getting home!” Shiemi announced. She kissed Rin’s forehead and with a round of farewells, she departed. 

“Alright, spill.” Izumo began, turning her attention to Ryuuji. 

“What?”

“You know.” 

“What do I know?” 

“I think I know what she’s getting at, Bon.” Konekomaru injected.

“One of you tell me, then!” Ryuuji tried to keep his voice down but it was getting harder by the minute. Ryuuji lifted Rin up, taking him over to his bed. Konekomaru pulled back the sheets and helped settle the boy into bed. 

“You sure have been clingy lately.” Izumo drawled, beckoning to the hand resting against Rin’s forehead. Ryuuji jerked his hand away like he had been burnt. 

“Haven’t we all?” Ryuuji countered. 

“You were all over him the day we went on the tour in Kyoto.” Konekomaru added. 

“Even before that. You two were flirting from the start. Pppft… that blush on his face when he first really looked at you was hilarious.” Izumo laughed softly. “So just admit it.” 

“Admit what?” 

“And HE is supposed to be one of the top students in our class?” Izumo asked Konekomaru, who shrugged with a shy grin. Izumo shook her head and glared at Ryuuji. “Just admit that you love Rin.” 

Ryuuj was about to deny it when a voice in the doorway stopped him. 

“I would advise against getting in a relationship with my brother.” Wide eyes turned to the door, Yukio stood there, eyes as cold as liquid nitrogen. 

“Why not?” Ryuuji found himself asking, unintentionally confirming Izumo and Konekomaru’s suspicion. 

“Rin could die at any time. You shouldn’t set yourself up for that extra pain.” Yukio replied. 

Ryuuji’s throat felt tight when he gritted out, “It doesn’t matter if I’m with Rin or not, if he dies, it’ll hurt. It will hurt so damn bad. But who are you to make that decision for Rin? He should decide for himself.” 

“Maybe so. But Rin’s brain is being consumed. He hasn’t ever been able to comprehend things the same as you and I. He’s brash, reckless, and it isn't his fault. That means it will get worse. If he agreed to a relationship with you, or someone else, he could be acting without thinking of the long term. I must do so for him.” Yukio was looking at Rin’s sleeping face. 

“It could make Rin happy.” Konekomaru attempted. 

“I think I love him.” Ryuuji admitted aloud. 

Izumo sighed dramatically. “Oh thank God. Shiemi owes me dinner.” 

Yukio smiled bitterly, stepping over to Rin and stroking the black hair. His fingers pressed against Rin’s pulse, finding it steady and strong. “You will regret it in the end.”

Ryuuji didn’t want to find himself in the “end" that Yukio foresaw. He shivered at the mental images of a funeral, ashes blowing in the wind. Konekomaru’s hand squeezed his arm, dragging him from his fearfully dark thoughts. 

His throat was dry as he croaked, “I want to try.” 

“I reluctantly give my blessing…” 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost an Interlude chapter. Not much character interactions but a lot of build up to later chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope yall enjoy this! I had some difficulty with the placement of each scene.

Chapter 6-

His footsteps echoed in the dark halls of his manor as he paced. He wasn’t bothered by the tenebrosity of the late hour, his mind was far away. His slit-pupiled eyes vacant, flicking through timeline after timeline. He searched for a solution to this particular hurdle that had been thrown their way. He knew Rin Okumura was running out of time. That was easy for him to see. How could it not be obvious to the King of Death and Time?

“Oh the trouble you cause, little brother…” Mephisto’s voice was mournful in the dark. In many timelines, Rin was the cause of monumental change.

“Anything yet, brother?” another figure spoke, making him wince from the echo over head. Mephisto grit his teeth as his green haired brother leapt down from the top of a chandelier, making it rattle and groan.

“No. I have seen many timeline endings. None will fair well for our littlest brothers.”

“Brothers?” Amaimon wondered aloud. He stepped into the dim light of the moon, his long emerald serpentine tail dragged against the marble floor, creating a haunting symphony with the chandelier above them. Mephisto appreciated the relaxed stance of the other demon, it helped settle his own raging thoughts.

“Yukio Okumura, his life is in the balance as well. Things will begin to heat up soon. A war is coming, and our most important players’ lives are in the hands of The Fates.” Mephisto sighed, conjuring a hourglass. The golden colored sand reflected on the demons’ eyes and faces as they contemplated the shifting. “We have months.”

_______________________________________

Rin awoke to a dark room and a warm weight on his stomach. A figure knelt on the floor, bathed in moonlight. The glistening silver piercings and bright blonde streak a give away as to who he was looking at. He could tell anyway, because a deep familiar voice was murmuring a… prayer?

“Nam-myoho-renge-kyo*” fell from his lips in a passionate wave. Rin didn’t know what he was doing but it was soothing. Rin didn’t want to disturb him but Kuro on his stomach made him need to get up. He shuffled the blankets and watched, mildly disappointed as Ryuuji stopped chanting and turned to him. 

“Rin, how are you feeling?” Ryuuji’s voice was a low rumble. The sound made Rin’s cheeks feel hot in the cool room.

“Mmm… I need to go to the bathroom.” Rin admitted.

“Ok. Here,” Ryuuji leaned over and lifted Kuro off Rin’s lap. “You need help?”

“No, I’m ok.” Rin stood, trying to hide the way his legs trembled. “Where’s Yukio?”

“Downstairs. I need to talk to you.” Ryuuji seemed anxious. It set Rin’s own anxiety off and he peered nervously in the dim light at the other boy.

“What about?” Rin almost didn’t want to know… did he do something wrong again?

“Nothing bad. Let’s get you to the bathroom first.”

After Rin took care of his needs, he found himself sitting across from Ryuuji on his bed. The soft chirp of a cricket and their anxious breaths the only sounds in the night. Bon was fiddling with his beads, not meeting Rin’s eyes.

“Soooooo…” Rin began, he made a conscious effort to ignore the urge to fall back to sleep.

“Rin, I know the timing is horrible but… well… I’ve managed to develop feelings for you. I have even before all this happened.” He paused, then scoffed. “That sounds so lame.” He scrubbed a hand over his eyes. Rin leaned forward anxiously. Ryuuji looked up and met his eyes, the dark eyes looking darker in the dim light. “I really like you. And I’d like to explore a relationship with you… if you will accept.”

“Like a boyfriend?” Rin sounded delighted, the moon light reflecting off his eyes and teeth.

That wasn’t the reaction Ryuuji was expecting. “Yes?”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend before!” Rin was beaming. “Sure! I think it would be fun!”

A part of Ryuuji knew what Yukio meant now. Rin didn’t seem the least bit concerned about anything. He wasn’t even blushing! Ryuuji jumped when a silken tail roped his arm.

“Rin. Think this through at least!” Ryuuji tried to reason with him. Don’t get him wrong, he was thrilled to hear Rin accepting his feelings but he wanted to be sure that Rin understood.

Rin laid back down, and with a shrug he began to blow Ryuuji’s mind once again. “I know. And you are smart enough to know. I’m pretty much doomed unless something works for me. I’m probably going to die. Either by my own body, the Vatican, or someone else that may want me dead. Why not allow myself to be happy and have something else to hold on and fight for?”

Ryuuji hummed a weak response, his mouth was dry, scared for what could lie ahead. Rin’s tail tugged him down and he laid hesitantly with Rin, his hand carding through the soft raven locks. Rin’s warm body was pressed against his own, as he fell into a heavy sleep. The moon outside cast a glow against the clouds gathering, the weather was set to change soon. For now, the world was peaceful. In the silence of the night, Ryuuji began to pray over Rin silently. Soon after he began, he was frantically calling Yukio as Rin’s nose began weeping blood.

* * *

Rin was so happy to be back in the dorms but he was tired of the hovering. Everyone, including Kuro, insisted on keeping one person with him at all times. Yukio gave Rin his ever growing pile of medications, and played doctor. Rin couldn’t even bathe without someone coming to check on him. He wanted his life back.

His saving grace turned out to be his new boyfriend. Ryuuji Suguro. Rin certainly hadn’t seen that one coming. After Shiemi turned Rin down in Kyoto, Rin had put all thought of romance out of his head for a bit. He knew he had a small crush (ok a big one) on the other boy but he never even considered asking him. When Rin found out about his newest threat, he had figured he would be once again fighting alone. Ryuuji had held him that first night, not flinching away from Rin’s blood. Rin had allowed himself to actually picture a life that didn’t end in three to six months, as he was wrapped in the strong arms. Maybe Rin could go on to become Paladin and defeat Satan with Yukio and Ryuuji at his side. But even if he didn’t make it that far, Rin was happy and that’s what mattered, right?

Rin hadn’t been allowed to return to classes just yet, which made Rin stress over the approaching deadline for the Exorcist Exam. Ryuuji stayed with Rin as much as he could throughout the day, and tutored the half-demon in the evenings. The rest of his friends assisted him in their specific strong points. Yukio had retracted from Rin somewhat, Rin wanted to talk to Yukio but he was never around anymore. He gave Rin his medicine and left as quickly as Renzo had been.

Rin had been doing surprisingly well. Mephisto had given the class a series of missions that Rin was allowed to partake in as long as he stayed close to Shura or Yukio. Ryuuji’s lips twitched at the memory of everyone putting skirts on and hair done up. Rin had looked better than everyone else there.

Rin had only just begun to fall apart once again. Rin's bad days hit them hard. Rin couldn’t hide the fact that it felt really nice when someone would sit and hold his hand through the days when he was in too much pain to move. He had never experienced a migraine before and it was agony. His vision was splotchy, his ears were ringing, his whole body throbbed, his own heartbeat too loud. Lately, Rin’s greatest enemy was body aches and a lingering fever. The doctors had insisted on starting chemotherapy immediately, and Yukio had urged them on.

Ryuuji was clutching his hand, reading a text book for one of their Cram Classes aloud to Rin. Rin wearily listened, his eyes focused on the liquid dripping from the IV and into his chest port. It was his first day of chemotherapy and they were two hours into the treatment.

Rin could feel the discomfort sinking its claws into him. His stomach started to twist, acid tickled the back of his throat. He was already trembling, he curled onto his side with a whimper. A warm set of lips pressed to his temple and Rin shut his eyes tight against the nausea.

“You’re ok.” Ryuuji whispered. He set the book down and gave his full attention to the small half-demon. Ryuuji wouldn’t admit it aloud but he was stricken with terror for his new found boyfriend. He continued providing as much support as he could as the half-demon hid his face in his shaking hands.

* * *

Yukio was slumped on the floor of the hospital, right outside Rin’s room. He could hear Suguro reading and the bustle of the hospital around him.

He peered up at the door to the room, contemplating for not the first time if he should go in. But no. He shook his head, dropping his eyes to his white knuckled hands. He ignored the way they trembled. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t let this be happening in the first place.

A fat green hamster slipped out from under the door, scurrying down the hall. He watched it go, his thoughts turbulent.

_Save him._ How? Yukio winced when he heard Rin retching from behind the closed door. He stood as Rin gagged, hand grasping the handle.

He opened the door a sliver and peered inside. Suguro was holding Rin up as he trembled violently. His hands were clenched around a bucket, head hanging low and tears making tracks on his face. Suguro wiped away the mess on Rin’s face with a small towel. Yukio slid the door back into place silently, breathing ragged.

_God, help us_. Yukio prayed, but would God be on the side of a demon? Yukio swept swiftly away, his white coat felt extra heavy. He had gotten his wish, he was practically a doctor now. That gave him clearance to Rin’s drawn blood, medicine, and files. He planned to use it.

His determination blinded him as he didn’t see the figure hidden in a supply closet stepping out to follow behind him silent as a ghost.

Back in the hospital room, Ryuuji was out of his league. Rin was in tears, his trembling hand holding Ryuuji’s. Ryuuji had looked out the door for Yukio, hoping to get Rin more help than what he could provide. But it was in vain. Yukio was nowhere to be seen and Rin was miserable.

“Where are you, Yukio?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is a Buddist prayer that eases stress and can make someone at peace.


	7. Side Effects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The side effects kick in. Rin's relationship continues to bloom even as his condition deteriorates. Yukio is desperate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning- there is mention of a type of skin cancer. It is scary to look at. I'm not kidding. If you havent seen it, I really suggest not googling it. It's called a Destructive metastatic basal cancer.

The side effects hit Rin like a truck. The doctor was baffled and quickly got a second and third opinion. Mephisto was present daily at the hospital, attempting to assist anyway he could. 

Rin was severely dehydrated from his inability to hold anything down. He was sweating from a fever that made his skin glow blue. His hair tried to fall out, a common side effect to chemotherapy, but Rin’s hair was growing back thicker, and a mix of black/blue and light blue/white. The stubborn locks of hair now came down past his shoulders, framing his blue eyes. His tail was ratty, and having the same issues as the hair on his head. The nails on his hands sharpened but were brittle. Bruises appeared on his skin at the slightest hit, only to fade within minutes of forming. It was truly a sight to see as Rin’s body went to war. 

Ryuuji was in school, attempting to pay attention even as his mind threatened to wander back to Rin. Rin was having more tests done… Ryuuji looked to where Yukio should be seated. He had only seen the younger twin in passing the past couple days. Ryuuji was worried about both twins, one was sick and the other seemed to be collapsing under the strain. He didn’t notice when the teacher passed out colorful flyers, his heart with Rin back at the hospital. The paper crinkled as he shifted in his seat, startling him. 

_ True Cross Festival _

_ October 31st – November 2nd  _

__

It then went into admission and rules. Dates were required to go. It was a dance… Ryuuji’s mind flashed back to the past week. Rin had been lethargic and clingy. He could use some cheering up. Ryuuji carefully folded up the paper, setting it into his pocket to show Rin later. 

The rest of normal school was spent warding off the girls asking him to the dance. Cram school was quiet and empty without Rin, Yukio or Shima, who had said he wasn’t feeling well. The class went by at a snail pace and Ryuuji was anxious to run to the hospital. Finally the class was over and he sprang to his feet. 

“Can I go too?” Shiemi asked him. 

He wasn’t sure why she was asking his permission for such a thing. “Of course.” 

“Me too!” Konekomaru rushed to stuff his books into his bag. The trio walked towards the door and Ryuuji noticed Izumo standing awkwardly at her desk, her eyes staring downward. 

He stopped by her desk and coughed nervously. “Come on. He would like to see you too.” 

He tried to keep his cool as her exotic eyes met his. They walked to the door, and he tried to loosen his tensed shoulders. He used the hospital key on the Cram School door. The walk to Rin’s hospital room was quiet. The group was tense for some reason. Ryuuji could feel the tension in the air. He sucked in a shuddering breath, and nudged the door open. 

Rin was alone, sprawled out in his bed, a feverish hue on his skin. His cheeks were flushed red but the rest of him glowed that ethereal blue. His lips were parted, panting heavily and his blankets were kicked to the floor. His hospital gown was ruffled and dotted with blood. 

Ryuuji frowned at the blood, watching Rin as he literally steamed, thin curls of vapor rising from his skin. He stepped over to his new boyfriend, guilty to have left him. For the first time, Ryuuji considered taking leave from school. Surely, Mephisto would understand. 

Rin's eyes met his and even with how uncomfortable he was, he began to grin. "Hey! How was school?" 

Rin sat up on unsteady limbs, Ryuuji hesitantly reached out to assist him, the heat was uncomfortable but didn't scald. 

"It was fine." Ryuuji answered, laying Rin against his pillows. 

"We really miss you in class Rin!" Shiemi kissed Rin's hand. 

Rin's lips curled, "I actually miss it, too." 

"How are you feeling?" Konekomaru asked. 

Rin beamed at the shy boy. "I'm feeling better!" 

The worst part of that statement was Rin wasn't lying. He actually did feel better even with the horrendous fever. 

"What is your fever at?" Ryuuji set his hand against Rin's forehead only to pull it back quickly. 

"I'm sitting at 116°(46.6°) right now." Ryuuji choked in shock. "Which is better than the 120°(48.8°) I was at earlier." Rin saw the horror on their faces and winced. "It's really not that bad." Rin squeaked. He didn't even tell them that the doctor had to use a meat thermometer on him... his fever was too high to be read by normal thermometers. 

"What did the doctor find out today?" Izumo stayed near the door but appeared to be concerned. 

Rin laid his head back, eyes shut and forehead crinkled. "Chemo is out. My body is killing and building immunity to the medicine. I'm burning it off." He wouldn't meet any of their eyes and Ryuuji's chest was tightening. 

"And? What else?" he urged, knowing that Rin was delaying something.

"I've got small tumors popping up all over because of the treatment. So…" Rin took a shaky breath. "Mephisto and the doctors are trying an advanced chemo." 

"Won't a stronger dose still have the same results?" Konekomaru wondered. 

"Not if it's laced with Holy Water." Rin braced himself for the explosion just in time. 

"Oh how horrible." 

"That doesn't sound safe." 

"Hell, no." Ryuuji snarled. "That's not treatment. That's torture." 

"I agree with Suguro." Even Izumo was being vocal about this. 

Rin hadn't wanted to show them. When he had woken up to  _ it  _ that morning, he had lost it. Yukio had appeared from who knew where and held Rin while he screamed. It was one of the most horrifying things he had seen.  _ It _ was the only reason why he was allowing the Holy Water treatment. With trembling hands, he carefully pulled his hospital gown away. Ryuuji draped the blanket over his lap and he nervously smiled in thanks. 

The room was dead silent as Rin exposed his ribcage and tugged a sterile wrap aside. On his lower left side of his ribs, a blood red crater was growing, pink tendrils expanded from it. The skin had been eaten away, the bone underneath looked to be disappearing little by little. 

"What is that?" Rin wasn't sure which of them asked. He reached to poke it, but his hand was caught by Ryuuji. His boyfriend's rich chocolate red eyes were full of concern. 

Rin licked his chapped lips, his friends were freaking out. He wished it didn't have to be this way. "It's a metastatic basal cancer." 

Ryuuji growled at the word metastatic. He hated that word. He had heard it far too often. He reached out shaking hands and settled the wrap back over the horrific sight. 

"I will be getting the treatment." Rin said with an authority that was unlike him. 

Izumo sighed. "I can't blame you. That looks like it hurts." 

Rin pouted, "It doesn't." 

"You are a bad liar, Rin." Shiemi's sweet voice scolded him. 

He shot her a soft grin but didn't reply. Ryuuji sat back, and put his hands in his pockets. He froze when he felt the flyer, his intentions of going to the school dance back in his mind. 

"Uh, guys. Would you give us some time alone?" Ryuuji asked their gathered friends. They shuffled out, shooting grins to the new couple. The door clicked shut and silence settled over them.

"What is it, Ryuuji?" His cheeks burned as Rin said his name in such a soft tone. 

Ryuuji slid the paper from his pocket, unfolding it with uncertainty. "True Cross Festival is coming up. It's a dance. If you are feeling up to it… I'd like to go with you." 

Rin looked dumbfounded, cheeks flushing from more than just a fever now. "Of course! I'll have to clear it with the doctor, and Yukio. And Shura. And-" Ryuuji settled his hand over Rin's mouth with a sly grin. 

"I know. You don't have to go down the list. If they let you go, don't be afraid to back out. I know you don't feel good." Ryuuji told the boy. He threaded his fingers through the multi colored hair. He was in awe over the white, black, raven blue and pale blue hair that shone from Rin's demonic fever. 

"I'm ok. I really am. I just have a headache and I'm hot…" Rin shrugged. He was so brave. Ryuuji couldn't get over it. Rin was still smiling, still laughing. Still willing to give Ryuuji a chance. Ryuuji's eyes flicked down to where the skin cancer was consuming Rin's body. 

"Rin?" Ryuuji's voice was hoarse with fear. 

"Hmmm?" Rin cocked his head, big blue eyes staring back at Ryuuji. 

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered. 

Rin appeared thoughtful, then shrugged. "I don't know if it's allowed." But before Ryuuji could pull away, Rin was yanking him closer. Rin's lips were hot and chapped, and Ryuuji almost pulled away in fear of making his lips bleed. Rin seemed to sense this and one shaking hand tangled in Ryuuji's hair. He relaxed into the kiss, affection growing for the half-demon he held. His heart quivered in pain as his hand traced over the hospital gown and under it, the chest port. 

* * *

Yukio was in the lab again, frantic. Nothing was working. Nothing he tried was killing the cancer cells he had collected from Rin that morning.

He shuddered at the memory, waking up to Rin's pained screams. His brother had been inconsolable over the rapidly growing, all consuming mass in his side. He had sedated his brother and got to work on slowing the growth. That was easy but only worked for so long. 

That cancer was bad. It consumed everything in its path. It would destroy the ribs, the lungs and anything else too close to the tissues. 

Saving Rin was becoming something impossible. 

Yukio leaned back, glaring down at his hospital coat. His head tilted back, clunking against the hard wall behind him. "I'm so sorry, Rin…" 

_ Sometimes the greatest mercy you can give is eternal rest.  _

Yukio went back to Rin's room to find his brother beaming. 

"I'm going to the dance with Ryuuji!" 

Yukio would let his brother have the final night with his boyfriend. Yukio plastered on a smile. "Sounds like fun. I will speak with your doctor." 

"Thanks, Yukio!" Rin was so happy. 

* * *

* * *

Rin tightened his tie, flashing back to when his dad taught him how to tie one. He hoped Shiro would be proud of who he was becoming. He laid the sapphire blue tie against his chest, blushing brightly. He was going to a dance! He was so excited to see Ryuuji. He glanced at the medical bracelet he wore on his wrist, giving emergency contact numbers, hospital, primary doctor and other excessive amounts of personal information. It was the only way the doctor would allow him to go.

He turned to look at Shura and Yukio who had also dressed up formally for the occasion. Shura was grinning, her eyes alight with… pride? She was wearing a cute short blue dress. Yukio was more muted, watching Rin do the finishing touches.Yukio almost seemed to be troubled. Yukio donned his own suit, with a single white cuff on the shoulder, the bright red sign of a medic sewn on it. 

The whole Exwire class had been set up with the communication system the staff had, and in Ryuuji's pocket was a single emergency dose to stop any seizures in their tracks. Rin was annoyed at all the precautions but he understood. Especially as his cancer continued to spread, slowly speeding back up. His skin cancer was gnawing at his ribcage, his brain tumors caused his body to malfunction, and his bones ached constantly. 

"I'm ready!" He beckoned to his ensemble with joy. 

"Alright. Here we go." Shura's key brought the trio to the Cram School and she led them down the hall. Rin was impressed with her balance in heels. 

The night was cool and beautiful when they stepped out. Fairy lights twinkled in the gentle breeze. The smell of food, fresh air, and flowers curled around them. The sky was dark, and cloudless. He could hear soft music. Further down, exactly where he said he'd be, Ryuuji sat next to the fountain. 

He was dressed in his own formal wear, the jacket and tie were pristine. His hair was done up in a way that had Rin's heart melting. Ryuuji's eyes reflected the small lights above, making them look overly bright and rich. The piercings in his ears glistened. Rin wanted to run to him.

"Go on, Rin." Yukio urged, nudging him in the back. "Call me if you need me." 

Rin's voice failed him as he stumbled forward. He lifted his arms in a way that may look childish but he didn't care. He collided with Ryuuji's broad chest, breathing in deeply. The last of his tension left him when Ryuuji carefully held him. Rin's side was already starting to pain him from the stretch to get his arms around Ryuuji but he couldn't care less. 

"How about we go dance?" The deep voice whispered in his ear. 

Rin was so happy. He really didn't deserve anything this perfect. 


	8. Declaration Of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dance is going well until it's not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got away from me very quickly. Thank you to LadySelenay for assisting so much and helping me improve my writing!
> 
> Ravenscode- My Escape inspired the beginning of this chapter

Chapter 8

Rin's cheeks ached from simply grinning. He trotted through the crowd, tugging Ryuuji along by the hand clasped in his. The couple had eaten a nice dinner, Rin attempted to ignore the gnawing pain in his side as the cancer continued to spread. Rin was breathless, his cheeks showing his overexertion but he was in good spirits. He attempted to ignore the ones keeping him in their line of sight. Teachers, Cram School students and even the Preceptor were varying distances away. Rock music thrummed through the speakers.

"Ryuuji. I want to dance!" Rin told his handsome boyfriend.  _ He looks so good all dressed up.  _

Ryuuji blushed, but allowed Rin to drag him off to the side of the dance floor. (They didn't want Rin getting jostled too much if he was bumped by someone.) The music changed to a slower song, Rin snapped his head to glare at the DJ, and his mouth fell open.  _ Of course it was Kinzo Shima.  _ The blonde tipped an invisible hat to Rin, a playful grin on his lips. 

They had planned everything out…

"Hey, look at me." Ryuuji's voice was a low rumble, setting his head against Rin's. "You know we're all just trying to keep you safe, babe." 

Rin pulled Ryuuji close, and his eyes drank in the sights around him. Konekomaru was dancing with his own partner. Yukio and Shura were swaying together, trying to appear as if they weren't purposely sticking close to Rin. The couple looked relaxed for the moment, Shura's arms around Yukio's neck. Yukio's eyes met Rin's and a soft pained smile lifted Yukio's lips. The fairy lights twinkled above their heads, the wind was helping to keep Rin cool. The music was… perfect. Rin closed his eyes, setting his head against Ryuuji's chest as they slowly danced. He could feel the Aria's steady heartbeat, soothing the worry from his mind. Something landed on Rin's head, and he opened his eyes to find Shiemi placing a flower crown on Ryuuji's head. The Aria was hunched over so the blonde could reach his head. The crown of Jasmine and Freesia sat crooked on his head and Rin reached up to adjust it. The pair turned to watch Shiemi scurry over to Yukio. Yukio's eyes went wide but allowed the girl to place one on his head, his cheeks a bright red. Rin laughed, and turned back to continue dancing with Ryuuji. 

He couldn't think of anything more perfect. His body wasn't in any kind of pain at the moment, his mind was at peace, his arms held Ryuuji close. 

Rin looked up at his boyfriend, his heart swelling with something foreign. Ryuuji was looking right back at him, his eyes glistened and Rin was startled to find his own eyes burning. Tears blurred his vision, and he pulled Ryuuji tight against him. The two held each other, and Rin leaned up, settling his lips against Ryuuji's. The kiss was still slow and gentle, but Rin's heart pounded in response. Ryuuji's calloused hand stroked the side of his face.

_ If tonight was my last night… I can't think of a better ending…  _

* * *

  
  


Yukio's breathing was shaky, rattling his terrified lungs. He clung to Shura, he needed the comfort… he couldn't handle this. Rin was dancing in circles with Ryuuji. The couple beamed, eyes twinkling, cheeks wet, lips desperately searching out the other. Rin looked so handsome tonight. Yukio had let Rin pick out whatever he wanted. The dark midnight blue suit and sapphire tie made his hair and eyes pop, the lights above made him glow even more so. The crown of flowers shed petals onto his shoulders. Ironically, he looked like an angel. Tonight would be his last night… If Yukio went through with what laid within their dorm. A fatal dose of demonic tranquilizer… Yukio's eyes were stinging, he was thankful that no one was looking at him. 

"Shhhh. It's ok. You can cry." Shura's voice startled him. His tears had landed on her shoulder. 

"I'm fine." He croaked. He looked back to Rin, watching as Ryuuji spun Rin carefully. Rin's squeal of laughter had Yukio choking on a sob. He shoved his knuckles into his mouth and bit down. 

She pulled away, her eyes full of sorrow. "You  _ can cry. _ " 

He wanted to… he wanted to so bad. He wanted to fall to his knees and spill his secrets. He wanted to tell her all about the voice in his head, and his plans to put Rin down like a dog. He wanted to beg her to make the pain stop. But then Shura stiffened, her body going tense. Her hand shot up to her earpiece, switching the dial. 

"Kirikagure." She listened to whatever was on the other line, her face growing troubled. "Ok. I'll be there."

"What is it?" he managed to pull himself back from the breakdown he almost had. 

"They need me elsewhere. I'll let you know if we need help." Shura looked over to Ryuuji and Rin, dancing in their own little world. 

"Right." He nodded, taking a calming breath. He turned, watching Rin. 

* * *

  
  


Rin was practically asleep with how relaxed he felt. He had his arms settled around Ryuuji's shoulders. The Aria's arms were looped around Rin's back. He pressed kisses to Rin's head, humming along to the soft music. Rin was in immediate danger of falling asleep. Ryuuji seemed to sense it and gently picked up Rin by his thighs. Rin didn't argue, allowing himself to go limp in his arms. The half-demon's head settled against Ryuuji's neck, his eyes slid shut…

__ "Rin! Suguro!"

His head snapped up, his flames spat to life, making a cocoon of fire with himself and Ryuuji inside. Yukio was running over, his hand to his headset. 

"What's going on?" Ryuuji asked, walking away from the dance floor. 

"Kamiki is missing and needs to be found immediately. Shima and Takara are missing as well. They may be together. All Cram Students are to begin searching." He told the couple. Rin squirmed to get out of Ryuuji's arms. Ryuuji could tell from the worry in Yukio's eyes that this wasn't a small problem.

"We'll find them!" Rin promised.

Yukio stared at Rin, his brow creased in concern. Finally he sighed, "Suguro, don't let him out of your sights… keep him safe." 

Ryuuji nodded, feeling the anxiety of such a great task settle on his shoulders. 

"Go." Yukio waved them off and Rin latched onto his hand, tugging him away. 

They raced through the crowds, swiveling their heads in search of the missing classmates. Ryuuji didn't like this at all. The air felt electrically charged with something. Ahead of him, Rin sniffed, his nose in the air. 

"Do you smell that?" The boy asked.

Ryuuji tried to smell whatever Rin was picking up but he couldn't find anything out of the usual. "What do you smell?' 

"Sulfur and something like a thunderstorm. Like lightning." Rin answered. The half-demon began to growl like a large cat, then with an excessively hard yank, Rin was dragging Ryuuji along. Their flower crowns fell, landing on the ground side by side. Ryuuji clung to Rin's hand, his eyes wide with panic. Rin was running  _ fast _ , the half-demon was spitting flames. 

"Rin!" Ryuuji shouted. "Slow down!" 

"Something is coming." Rin snarled. His teeth lengthened, flashing in the now eerie light above them. The music had changed back to the faster, louder stuff now that Rin was away… but Ryuuji wished they weren't running at a breakneck pace towards something that had Rin on edge. This was a terrible idea. He flashed back to the time they were running  _ towards _ the deadly Impure King. Why did this feel so similar? 

A loud boom sent a shock wave through their bodies, rattling their bones and Rin ran faster up the stairs to the causeway. Rin was panting heavily, his exhale escaped with a wheeze. Ryuuji wanted to stop him but the half-demon looked exceptionally agitated, being driven onward by something as yet unknown except for his sense of imminent danger. 

He hadn't looked this way against the Impure King. What would set him off like this? Above them, high up on the observation deck a plume of… black fire lapped at the sky before disappearing. Who black fire?

"Izumo!" Rin screamed. Ryuuji's heart thundered in his chest. They tore past the small clutter of their fellow students and a panic stricken Yukio, making their way up to the observation deck.

"Rin!" Yukio cried out, before pursuing his brother.

As they began to ascend, a loud whir of helicopter propellers sounded from above. A searchlight illuminated the night, and Ryuuji could see it come to a stop on the deck. They reached the top, and Ryuuji felt his stomach plummet. Every nerve in his body screamed to turn and run. He ignored it, squeezing Rin's hand tighter. 

"Shima!" Rin's voice was hoarse and raw but still carried. And there was Renzo Shima. He was shrouded in black flames, standing with people in odd uniforms. They stood together behind tall, large shields. "Izumo?!" 

The girl was limp in Shima's arms… and Ryuuji felt his heart lurch in his chest. Please don't be dead. What was happening? What was Shima  _ doing _ there with those people?

Ryuuji could hear Rin shouting to Shima as he continued forward. Renzo's eyes narrowed, a smirk lifted his lips. Ryuuji found his feet sliding to a stop, and he yanked Rin back. Rin cried out, eyes wide. 

"Rin!" Yukio screamed. He must sense it too… everyone's hair was lifting, static seemed to be charging the air. Ryuuji dragged Rin back to his chest, twisting and shielded him as the world around them lit up. A tremendous blistering heat swept over them, at first Ryuuji thought Rin had flared up. But as fast as it was there, it was gone. 

A dark shadow was before them, shielding them. Mephisto's shadow created a protective cone. The air was still charged, the smell of sulfur and ozone Rin had smelled was strong enough here that Ryuuji could smell it as well. Rin was trembling violently in Ryuuji's arms, then he realized he had grabbed Rin around the ribcage. 

The metastatic tumor. Ryuuji flinched as he felt the way the ribcage felt  _ different _ there, and drew his arm away, latching into Rin more gingerly below the affected area. Yukio was suddenly in front of them, his glasses in his hand to avoid the glare. Yukio grasped Rin's face, trying to have his brother look at him. 

Rin took a heaving breath, his skin was a frightening shade of white in the light and darkness around them. He growled suddenly, batting away Yukio's hands. His teeth gnashed and he stood on shaking legs. His tail lashed like a whip and they turned to listen to the newcomer. 

The demon was tall and thin, a golden mask similar to an owl's visage covered his face. His slit pupiled eyes were the color of a clear sky. Rin eyed the new demon's tail, similar to his own, remembering what Mephisto said.  _ A demon's tail is their biggest weakness. _

"I am the Commander-in-Chief of the Illuminati. I am Lucifer, the King of Light." The voice that spoke was soft and rich. Ryuuji shivered,  _ this _ was the top demon after Satan himself. 

Mephisto bowed extravagantly, "My big brother! It seems while we were apart you…" he giggled. "Anyway, the mask suits you!" 

Lucifer tipped his head. "Samael… I see  _ you _ are still healthy." Lucifer coughed. 

_ Was he shaking?  _ Ryuuji could feel Rin swaying next to him, his hand slick with sweat. Rin growled softly and Yukio shushed him. Lucifer still heard the sound, his eyes locking onto the three boys crouching directly behind Mephisto. 

"Thanks to you, I'm having a blast. But what brings you to this little backwater?" Mephisto was approaching Lucifer now. His steps were cadenced as if holding back from initiating a dance.

"Well…" Lucifer spread his arms out to beckon to those behind him. "As a first step, we in the Illuminati… have come to issue a  _ Declaration of War _ against the Knights of the True Cross." 

Rin's muscles were tensing, his shoulders hunched. Ryuuji's heart was beating uncomfortably fast and his breath seized in his throat.  _ War?  _ Yukio shuffled closer to Rin, his eyes narrowing with growing hostility. Lucifer side stepped Mephisto, his head tilted to the side like a bird. 

"In less than one year from this day… we will revive our father, Satan!" Lucifer's words felt like a stab to the chest. "We will rejoin Assiah and Gehenna as one and return to the nothingness that preceded darkness and light. Then all will be free of suffering…" his gaze had turned to Rin, appearing to be looking for something. "To exist in equality and harmony. The world will know true peace." 

Lucifer pulled his eyes away to meet Mephisto's. "The Illuminati will not forgive any who oppose our will. However… the door is always open to those who would listen." Lucifer took a step closer. "Samael. As your older brother, I ask you one last time… will you join me in--"

"Never." Mephisto's tone and body stance surprised Ryuuji. He could tell Mephisto meant it, and could see that what he said was true. Mephisto's voice was passionate as he spoke once again. "Living atop a pile of corpses, longing for the sky while crawling through a world of suffering. And the chaos of different beings existing side by side.  _ That's  _ my idea of peace." 

Lucifer eyes narrowed, his stance was still relaxed but his tail was flicking. "But why must we live in sin and agony? Not all in this world are as strong as you. Many are weak." He side-stepped, eyes flicking over Rin's body with the brutal exactness of a scalpel. "I see you still enjoy flaunting your body's durability." 

Now his eyes were sharper as he turned on Mephisto. "Are you even trying to keep him alive?" A light cough punctuated his words, "or are your scientists that ill equipped? I'm not disturbed by a lot of things, but your obvious lack of care is appalling."

Mephisto seemed to  _ bristle _ , Ryuuji saw his hands twitch, and the muscles of his jaw tensed. Ryuuji blinked, and looked back at the strange pale demon standing there.

Mephisto chuckled, the sound cold. "I have been sparing no expense for him, on the contrary. This cancer has metastasized into something no researcher has seen before.”

Lucifer hummed thoughtfully, his eyes flashing with something like sympathy at Rin. "Then perhaps you would let me take him? I'm sure my researchers can ease his pain." 

Ryuuji and Yukio moved simultaneously, pulling Rin behind them. Their expressions were thunderous at the very idea of such a thing.  _ Let this guy take  _ Rin? Impossible. If Mephisto was vehement about  _ not _ joining Lucifer, and Mephisto was protecting Rin… Allowing this monster to take him would be unfathomable.

Mephisto growled, "I think not, big brother." His smile turned sharper, and his display of fangs was predatory. “I simply cannot allow you to sink your claws in him at this time.”

Lucifer tilted his head, and his eyes narrowed venomously. “I won’t have to, at this rate. He’ll be dead long before I have the care to strike him down. I will, however, be taking the girl. She is necessary to our plans." 

Mephisto’s eyes narrowed as he glanced over Lucifer’s shoulder at Renzou standing there flanked by eldest brother’s henchmen. Lucifer turned away, but only made it a couple steps before he suddenly lurched forward, coughing. Shouts of alarm rang out from the others standing with him, and a woman standing nearby caught him as his knees threatened to give out. Bringing his arm across her shoulder with practised ease. She supported him without a hint of hesitation. The pair retreated back to the helicopter, Shima following obediently still carrying Izumo in his arms with hardly a hint of discomfort. 

"Wait!" Rin's shout startled both sides, and Lucifer hesitated for a moment before continuing to step forward. Ryuuji and Yukio glanced back at him. "What are you going to do with Izumo and Shima?" Getting no response, Rin snarled. "Hey! Mephisto! Are you just going to stand there and watch?" 

Mephisto sighed. "What can I do against the King of Light? He may be weakened, but he is Gehenna's greatest power, aside from Satan himself." Mephisto tipped his head to look down at Rin. "But you should be able to sense that, right?" 

Ryuuji should have seen it coming… he should have been able to prevent what happened next, but he was too slow. They all were too slow. Rin roared, his tensed muscles threw him forward with the grace of a cat. 

"Rin!" Ryuuji rushed after the half-demon, his hands reached out. 

"I'll stop him!" Rin spat, drawing his sword. The blue fire roared to life, bathing everything in the ghostly light. Shima broke away from the main group, k'rik raised, facing Rin head on. The two clashed in the middle, weapons locked.

"I'm warning you." Shima's eyes had a hint of the familiar amusement. "You can't win this unless you are willing to kill. Because… the Illuminati are…” his brows furrowed as his eyes locked onto Rin's face. The half-demon's facial muscles had gone limp, his mouth hung open. His slit pupiled eyes dilated and all emotion slid off. Shima stepped back, "Okumura?" 

Rin's flames went wild for a moment, climbing high into the night sky, then they were gone and Rin dropped backwards. His sword dropped from his hand and his head hit the ground with a loud crack. Everyone, including the Illuminati, were frozen in place as he began to seize violently. Yukio was the first to move, rushing forward and yanking Ryuuji along by his sleeve. Ryuuji's hands fumbled in his jacket pocket for the anti-seizure medication, but he knew it was already too late.

Lucifer looked up at Mephisto with a hard expression. “Are you certain you wouldn’t like me to intervene?”

Mephisto appeared pained for a moment, watching Rin thrash on the floor. "No." 

Lucifer glanced back at the frantic teenagers. "My offer stands… now come along. Time to go." 

Yukio had stripped off his jacket, attempting to cushion Rin's head with it. Yukio also sheathed Rin's sword. Ryuuji's hands clutched the medication, standing before Rin, unsure of what to do. Rin's back arched, saliva ran down his chin. Ryuuji raised his eyes from the frighteningly blank grey face and saw Shima walking away. 

A furious heat consumed Ryuuji, "Shima!" But Renzou didn't stop, he just kept walking away… Rin made a painful gurgling noise. Ryuuji's eyes burned. " _ RENZO!"  _

Shima paused, his shoulders tightened. He glanced back, trying to appear indifferent. Then, he stepped aboard the helicopter and the doors slammed shut. Ryuuji watched the helicopter fly off, and listened to Yukio whispering words of comfort to Rin. 

Mephisto stepped over to stand at Ryuuji's side. "Well… that  _ was _ a Declaration of War, so there must be more to come." 

Ryuuji didn't have a moment to contemplate the words, as blinding flashes lit up the night sky. He could hear dozens of ear-splitting booms, and muffled screams from those around him. He dropped to his knees in an attempt to help Yukio protect Rin. Shockwaves made their clothes and hair fly about, and the ground shook. Great plumes of smoke rose up, blotting out the stars and making the air wheeze out of his lungs. His ears rang but he could still hear. Yukio had thrown himself over Rin, who had finally stopped thrashing. 

Then it was silent apart from the crackle of fire and the panting breaths of those around him. Rin was coming out of his seizure, his eyes were full of terror. Ryuuji couldn't imagine how scared he must be, with the violent events. Ryuuji helped Yukio lift off of Rin, his own body quaking. The silence rang out, everyone standing in a loose half circle around Rin.

Rin's trembling hand came up to wipe his mouth off. "Wha 'appe'?" 

"True Cross is at war." Mephisto's voice was grim. He stood next to the railing, beckoning out towards his city. "The King of Light destroyed the main barrier earlier. The exploding seraphim destroyed the smaller ones. Behold..." he glared down at the city.

Rin forced himself to his feet, allowing Yukio and Ryuuji to each take one of his arms. He was so tired and in so much pain, but this… this was so much more important than his own life. Because there Mephisto stood, outlined by the red/orange fires consuming the city. Black forms flew through the air, a cacophony of noise growing louder as they approached. 

"Oh fuck…" Ryuuji gasped. Rin's eyes weren't completely clear yet but he could see enough to know. The city was under attack. 

"Low-level… no mid-level demons are gathering." Yukio announced. Smoke blew over them, causing him to cough roughly. 

"From the looks of things, I would guess the other branches around the world are in a similar state of confusion. I must see to the Japan branch." Mephisto peered over the student's heads. "Intermediate Exorcist First Class, Yukio Okumura." 

Yukio shifted nervously, lifting Rin a little. "Yes?" 

"Take charge of the Exwires and immediately go to rescue Izumo Kamiki." Mephisto's tone clearly said to not argue. 

"But sir! Just me and some Exwires? And Rin can't go!" Yukio cried out. 

"The Exorcist Hospitals will be overrun very soon with the wounded. They will have no room for your brother. You are his doctor. Oversee his care." Yukio's stomach was plummeting at Mephisto's words. "And as for your other worry, I'll send back up when it becomes available. Until then, I will send Nemu Takara with you. He is an exorcist I brought in from the outside to supervise you Cram School students. He has Senior First Class ability so don't worry. And he knows where to go." 

"But what about Shima?" Rin shrugged off Ryuuji and Yukio. 

"Ah… it's my fault for not investigating him more thoroughly." Mephisto continued to stare out at the city. "I have no excuse. But for now, we must accept that he was a  _ rat _ for the Illu--" 

"Shut up!" Rin was suddenly in his face, grabbing his coat. "Don't say that, clown. We still can't be sure. We will find Izumo and Shima and bring them both back!" 

Yukio hurried over to Rin, taking his shoulders. "Alright Rin. How about a short nap?" 

Rin turned, looking disgusted. "I don't need a nap! We need to save them! Now!" 

"Rin, you need to rest." While they argued, Mephisto trotted away, his eyes growing more contemplative with each step. 

"I don't need to rest." Rin turned away but stumbled as the Earth pitched underneath his feet, the horizon rolling around as his balance shifted under him nauseatingly. Ryuuji stepped forward before he could get too far and swept him into his arms. Rin growled, his hands came up to grasp onto Ryuuji's arms. His expression turned quite sour when he realized he couldn't escape Ryuuji's grasp. 

"Rin, you won't be saving anyone if you don't let yourself heal first!" Yukio scolded. Exasperation making his voice less gentle than he meant it. Rin ignored him, his movements growing less coordinated and precise the longer he struggled.

"You don't have to always be strong. Just rest, Rin."

Rin looked down at Konekomaru in surprise, blinking slowly before relaxing in Ryuuji's arms and reluctantly laying his head against his boyfriend's chest. He heaved out a deep breath as a wave of exhaustion swept over him and his eyes slowly dropped closed. 

Yukio sighed, watching Rin drift off with something unreadable in his eyes. "We will meet up early in the morning to catch our ride." 

Yukio carefully took Rin into his arms. Hands easing into position before lifting him away, his other hand reaching up to brush the half-demon's hair out of his face. "I will take care of Rin tonight and see how he is in the morning. The rest of you, go pack a light bag of necessities and sleep." 

* * *

Yukio's arms were straining as he set his brother down into his bed. Rin looked to be bouncing back rather well but Yukio was still haunted by the long minutes when he expected to lose Rin. His eyes glanced to his closet where he knew a black metal box held a single fatal dose of tranquilizers within. He could do it. 

He found himself somehow opening the box. The needle was small and sharp… Rin wouldn't feel a thing. Would he? Yukio didn't want to cause him any pain… 

Yukio stuffed the box away, his hands trembled and he removed the other box. The  _ safe _ box. The one full of things to help Rin. He set it by Rin's bed and with mechanical movements, he stripped Rin down. Cleaning him, then putting him in fresh clothes. After some consideration, Yukio decided to give Rin some fluids through the chest port. Then went through checking his vitals. 

Yukio laid down in his own bed a couple hours later, his mind whirling with all the revelations of the day. But one thing stuck out. Lucifer had seemed so sure that he could help Rin. 

_ No. First rule… demons lie _

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think. I'm open to ideas, suggestions. Whatever.


End file.
